1 question.I dont know if im the only 1 who does this, but do any of u buy really expensive stuff and dont wear them for like..a year cos ur waitin 2 look ur best (like thinner) b4 u wanna rock em! I bought this old school retro adidas jacket from New York and was like..yay..im gonna wear it, but its like..Im not worthy 2 wear u right now..ur so hot and im so..not.... :-S
2 question.I hate goin out..socialisin n my m8s keep budgin me 2 go out 2 clubs n stuff but i feel like i take up the whole room..most of them have given up on me but there r still a few who wont n even tho they do go out, i feel like I been left out..but I dont wanna go out..feel so indesicve n eeeeuuuuughh!!!
Any hoo, im gonna be at home 2 nite where im gonna be usin my juicer n my elliptical...i dread xmas meals tho..aaah!
Hope ur days r goin well sexy people n i shall holla atcha in do time!
Luv u all
Ohh! i almost forgot. Its offical. She knows...
Today she told me she'd get me hoodia but got REALLY upset about it. She went on a rant about how i'm already skinny and i've done it without any pills and i don't need to be any skinnier and that its not a mirical pill like they make its seem just a waste of 40$ and a christmas present.
I told her not to worry about it, that ill make a compromise, if she'll get me the 10 day hoodia and green tea pills (10$) then i don't need the 40$ one.. and she said "Fine"
She said last night that she doesn't like me "extreme dieting" and its not always about calories, that as long as im eating healthy and in moderation i'm fine. And i got offended and snapped back with a "EVERYTHING IS ABOUT CALORIES"
Then today when we were talking about hoodia she was like "you've cut down your calorie intake way to much and have lost SO much weight since adam and you started having problems(which is about the time i started lossing, he always triggers me)"
Then i was like im not losing anymore im gaining and she said something along the lines of how i didn't even start eating until a couple days ago(when i started binging) and i was like I EAT MOM! and she was like "cucumbers and jello hardly count as food" and then i tried to come back with a "I eat at school all the time!".. she rolled her eyes and started crying.
Gaaa... a couple things...
1. Boy is back and wants to see me.. FREAKING OUT
2. Got another shirt on layaway at walmart, motivation(pic below)
I've kinda just not cared cause its christmas.. and my mom knows and is upset about it.. i figured after christmas ill do better, probably before but still..
I can't even remember anything from last night.. all i know is the Bt bought me a rose and told me how amazing i looked and kept telling my friend all day how excited he was to see me...
OH i can't do this. TO much stress
things have been quite hectic lately and this 20 challenge was just not at the right time for me.
i will definetly be doing another one later on in the months tho,
id like to thank our regular posters
have a happy holidays and great new year ladies
This semester has been interesting to say the least, first semester living off campus, first semester working almsot full time, first semester with a full out ED...I am gonna be happy with C's for the first time in my life, as long as I pass enough to get off academic probation (if i dont I get booted, then I am screwed) I will be happy. I think I am looking at a c- in humn, a c in research a c+ in stats, a b in soc adn a c in adolescent. thats bad considering I was a straight A student ... I suck at life a little.
Next semeter will be better...I keep telling myself that, its almost 2007, in 2007 i will loose weight i will kick ass at school etc etc ... next year...i wish i had done it this year but I couldnt...bipolar doesnt help much either and i hate my meds...
I wanted 135 by my 21 birthday (Jan 8) it wont happen so I am gonna give up for now. I am gonna try again next year with a new plan of attack and a gym membership woot woot.
I will be okay...Im just ashamed of myself. And I dont have internet at home and when i am on at moms i have to be careful when i get on here so she doesnt find out...and she doesnt have AIM or anything sooooo ... I guess I will be back on here a little but for the most part I will see you next year!!!!!!
Good luck and be safe
Anyway, hope my luvlay girls r doin well...we all deserve a happy day. Heres a message 4 all of u..
Hope that cheeers ur day up if ur feelin down! ;-)
ps. if ur a boy, interpret where appropriate ;-)
we did circuts and ran like 4 miles today though so that should put me in the negs. right? am i ok then? my dad has definently noticed i don't eat as much as when i was depressed. and before then he was never home enough to notice :[ i'm thinking i could possibly be discovered. that would suck!
oh and i possibly most likely have broken my finger but my dad says it'll be fixed by the time we go to th outback bowl! :D watch the new years eve parade in florida! my high school will be in it and the outback bowl halftime performance!! :D
on a lighter note...i am now 127.2 and it's night time so possibly i will weigh less in the morning! :] ooooo all in all a good day!